30 things to do with your new mobile phone: 1-10

Got a new handset from, ahem, Father Christmas? Don’t just sit there calling people…

1. Download the Gmail mobile application and enjoy slick email action on your phone (i.e. you can reply to that deposed Nigerian dictator offering you his fortune even if you’re not at your desk).

2. Attach a mini-tube of Bourjois Effet 3D lipgloss to it.

3. Upload one of your camphone videos onto Moblr, which claims it’s the mobile world’s equivalent of YouTube.

4. Sing along with some Christmas carols on your phone. Okay, so it is a bit late for this one, but still.

5. Play some classic Nintendo NES and SNES games on your smartphone using the iNES emulator application. Or just buy a DS and play some new games, obviously.

6. Use The Power Of Picture Messaging to get your photo superimposed with cheating cheeky wing chappie Cristiano Ronaldo, or some of his Man Utd team-mates.

7. Turn your phone into a telescope and watch some birds. The feathered kind, obviously. You’re less likely to get arrested.

8. Set up your own WAP shop punting ringtones and adult content to your friends. They’ll thank you for it, really.

9. Place a few real-money bets on Crazy Mobile Casino. Just don’t blame us if you end up losing your house, spouse and dignity.

10. Have an old-skool rave-up dance party after sticking some flashing Fonelites stickers on your handset. Warning: doing the big-fish little-fish cardboard-box dance to the Crazy Frog ringtone is not cool. Never.

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